


Playing Pretend

by raincheck8



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Best Friends, Consensual, F/F, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gen, Innocence, Past Relationship(s), pink celebrates spinel's anniversary, why isn't there more of this ship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:21:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24565294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raincheck8/pseuds/raincheck8
Summary: Pink Diamond celebrates Spinel's 1,000 year anniversary of her emergence by giving her the opportunity to ask for anything she wants. Spinel's requests, however, force Pink to face a reality she didn't anticipate - Spinel's deeper feelings for her, as well as Pink's deeper feelings of inadequacy.
Relationships: Pink Diamond & Spinel (Steven Universe), Pink Diamond/Spinel (Steven Universe)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 36





	Playing Pretend

**Author's Note:**

> Excuse the elaborate ploy to put these two in a forced romantic context, but this is fan fiction, and as far as crack ships go, the lack of fan work out there for this ship honestly surprises me. I also wanted to give Spinel and Pink some time to reminisce and reflect before their relationship goes completely south. I'd like to believe that at some point between making her and leaving her in the garden, Pink wanted to work things out. Enjoy the fluff, and please leave a comment if you can.

They didn’t know what day it was. Gems didn’t keep track of time the way other species did, and the years had bled together until they were just stars in the sky – innumerable and impossible to count. They just happened to be there, visiting the place where Spinel had been made. Pink didn’t think anything of it, other than to show her friend where she had waited for her to emerge. Pink had been so eager to have Spinel made, and the place was home to Spinel’s first memories.

“I remembered that day perfectly, because you burst out of your hole right after the end of Starfall meteor shower,”Pink told her as Spinel peered inside the gem-shaped recess, “A burst of energy from the very beginning, you were, shooting out of the ground right when stars had finished shooting from the sky.”

“Hee hee, I couldn’t let the fun end there!”Spinel said, “I had to make my dramatic entrance!”

“As I recall, it was _quite_ the entrance,”Pink said, grinning as Spinel tipped herself upside down to get a different view of the hole she came out of. “And impeccable timing. Starfall only occurs once every thousand years.”

“Really? I woulda thought it was pretty regular here.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Because there’s a meteor shower going on right now.” Pink whirled around to look in the direction Spinel was staring at, her hands coming up to her mouth to cover an excited squeal.

“Spinel! I can’t believe it! It’s just like I remembered!” Spinel tilted herself back right-side-up, leaning against Pink’s shoulder. Her friend’s eyes sparkled in the reflection of the fiery tails streaking past them, and Spinel found herself more entranced by the dancing lights in her friend’s eyes than the meteor shower itself. Her eyes eventually drifted back toward the stars, following the lines of color searing through the skies. As the stars began to fade out and Spinel sensed the shower was coming to a close, an idea came to mind.

“Oh, Spinel, wasn’t that beautiful?”Pink asked, whirling around to look for her missing friend, “Spinel?” Pink was suddenly thrown to the floor by a pair of arms wrapping themselves three times around as Spinel shot out of her hole behind Pink.  
  
“I’m so excited to meet you!”she squealed in a wonderfully familiar cadence that had Pink grinning widely, “I’m your new best friend, Spinel!” The smaller gem laughed, releasing her hold. “Did I remember right, Pink? Is that how it happened?” Pink used both arms to squeeze Spinel tightly to her from her place on the ground.

“That’s _exactly_ how it happened.”

“And I’m still your bestie?”she asked, a tinge of hope laced in the question, “Even after all this time?”

“I don't see any other gems around here willing to play hookie all day with me,”she assured her with a cheeky smile. Pink’s eyes suddenly widened, realizing something.

“Wait a minute…Spinel, if the Starfall meteor shower is every one thousand years, and we just happened to be here to see it….Spinel, is today the thousandth year anniversary of your emergence?!” Spinel’s mouth dropped open in surprise.

“Whaaaaa? No way! That means we’ve been best friends for 1,000 years today!”

“Spinel, this can’t be just a coincidence that we happened to be here on this day! We need to do something! Something special, to celebrate!”

“Celebrate what? The meteor shower?”

“No, silly, celebrate _you_!” Spinel laughed.

“Me? You’re the one who’s silly, Pink. All I did was pop out of the ground.”

“No way! This is a sign from the cosmos – no, the entire _universe_ – that today is _special_!” Pink thought for a moment. “What if, for the rest of the day, we do anything that you want to do?”

“Like when we take turns picking games to play?”

“Think bigger, Spinel. Today, you can pick the game, pick the activity, pick the location. If there’s something you’ve always wanted to do because of White’s restrictions, I’ll pull some strings and make it happen. Heck, I just cleared my schedule for the rest of the day. Today is _yours_.” Spinel’s eyes widened in shock. A whole day with Pink? Spinel was usually lucky to get her friend for a few hours before she was pulled away.

“What about your diamond duties?”

“Today, you’re my diamond, Spinel.” Now Spinel just looked uncomfortable.

“Whaaaa? Ha… Very funny, Pink. That’s going a little far, though…”

“I mean it, Spinel. One thousand years of service is a big deal. You deserve at least one day to do anything and everything you want, no questions asked.” Spinel had gone from uncomfortable to blushing.

“Golly, Pink…you mean it? Anything I want? That’s a lot of power,”she said, her eyes growing comically wide.

“Welcome to my life,”Pink said with a half-hearted laugh and a roll of her eyes. Spinel was caught speechless by such an offer. Spinel’s entire existence was to cater to what Pink wanted to do. She had never once thought about herself…

“Hmm…but I already have everything I’d ever want,”Spinel said after some consideration, “I have you!” 

“You have me every day. Think _big_ , Spins. What would you do if you could do anything?”

“Hmm…well…,”she started, eyes darting unsurely at the ground, “What would _you_ do?” At this, Pink laughed.

“Besides rule a colony? I do what I want all the time.” Spinel looped her hand in a contemplative fist against her chin, trying to think. In truth, she had never considered doing anything that didn’t revolve around Pink and her needs. Frantically, she searched for something that Pink might like.

“Do you…want to go organic watching?”

“Seriously? I had to drag you last time.” Spinel quickly backpedaled.

“Then…we can go to that asteroid we found the other day? With the colorful mineral deposits and organic plant life you liked?”

“Spinel, are you just listing off things I’d like?”

“Maaaaybe,”Spinel said, looping her arms several times on the drawl to land with her finger touching her nose. Pink rolled her eyes, but she smiled her exasperation.

“Let’s just start with a game you’d like. After a thousand years, I bet I can take a guess at some of your favorites.”

“Hee hee, I’d like to see you guess.”

“Of course you’d make me guess,”Pink teased, pointing a finger to her chin in thought, “Is it…hide and seek?”

“Nope!”

“Bubble wars?”

“Nope!”

“Pranking the guards?”

“Hee hee, maybe in the top ten,”she said, then placing her hands on her hips, chided, “You’re not even close, Pink! My favorites are the ones that _you_ like the best.”

“Well that’s just won’t do. This has to be for you, not for me,”Pink pouted, “We’re going to think of something. What makes you happy? Other than taking care of me.”

“I’m happy when you’re laughing and smiling,”Spinel answered immediately.

“Then for starters, I’ll smile all day. Just for you.” Spinel beamed at this, genuinely delighted.

“Really?!”

“Of course, really. Smiles all day, check. What else? Isn’t there something you’ve always wanted to ask of me, but you were too embarrassed or you didn’t think it was your place to ask?” The smaller gem’s cheeks betrayed her with a flush.

“Well sure, but”-

-“No buts!” Pink interjected, “It’s your anniversary! Whatever you want, I’m happy to do it.”

“…Do you mean it? Like really, really mean it? You’ll be happy? Will you tell me if you’re not?” It didn’t surprise Pink in the slightest that Spinel was having a harder time believing Pink could be happy indulging in Spinel’s interests than believing Pink was willing. Always thinking of her – made for Pink’s happiness only. It was almost cruel, asking her to forsake the part of her that her identity was built off of, just because Pink said it should be so. It must feel uncomfortable to be allowed to be herself, Pink thought. She knew the feeling.

“I promise. I’ll be happy with _anything_ you ask of me, Spinel. And I’ll even let you know if I’m not. But I also promise that there’s nothing you can ask of me that I wouldn’t be happy and willing to give you.” Pink was surprised to see Spinel blush, suddenly uncharacteristically shy.

“There’s only one thing, but… it’s nothing special. I-I'll think of something bigger…." Pink deadpanned.

“Spinel.”

“It's nothiiiiing,”she said with a baiting smile. Pink rolled her eyes.

“You’re an awful liar.”

“Am not.”

“Tell me, Spinel. I’m going to tickle you if you don’t.”

“Nooo,”she pretended to whine, even though Spinel could easily have stretched out of Pink’s reach. Spinel loved tickle fights, and Pink knew this.

“I’m coming in. You better tell me what you want, or I’m not showing any mercy.”

“You’ll have to do your worst,”Spinel teased playfully, sticking out her tongue. Pink didn’t wait for Spinel to get ready before she pounced, tackling the smaller gem to the ground. After 1,000 years, Pink knew her one weakness – Spinel could stretch every part of her body, except her gem. Pink’s arms locked Spinel in by the torso, trapping her there even as her arms and legs stretched and flailed, trying to escape. Pink’s arms curled under her back, taking advantage of her hands near her gem and dancing her fingers against Spinel’s sides. The little gem could barely keep her limbs to herself, she was laughing so hard.

“Okay, okay, you win!”

“Oh? What’s it going to be, then?”Pink asked, unrelenting.

“I want a…hahahahaha!”

“You want a what?”Pink echoed, finally letting up just enough to allow Spinel to breath.

“I said I want a hug.” Pink froze. The pause gave Spinel enough time to pull herself out from underneath her friend, and to realize what she just said. She managed a sheepish smile, her cheeks faintly flushing. For all their years together, the request felt bizarrely embarrassing out loud.

“Wait. Really? That’s it?” After all the buildup, this was not what Pink had been expecting.

“An…extra long one, I mean,”Spinel continued before she could overthink it, “Th-they’re my favorite.”

Her request surprised the diamond, who had been so sure that when she finally warmed Spinel up to the idea of celebrating her day, that Spinel would undoubtedly request a game she hadn’t quite solidified, or for Pink to take her somewhere only diamonds had access to. But Spinel just wanted Pink…to hold her?

“…Come here,”Pink said gently, a smile on her face, as promised. The sight eased some of Spinel’s nerves as she took Pink’s hand. Instead of reaching in for a hug, though, Spinel was surprised when Pink led her backward to the rockface next to Spinel’s hole. Pink sat down so she was just at Spinel’s height and sat back against the rock wall. The smaller gem looked confused as Pink smiled at her. Any self-consciousness melted away when Pink scooped the smaller gem to sit more comfortably on her lap and opened her arms to her. Spinel happily dove into Pink’s waiting embrace with a relieved breath. Arms coiled around Pink’s back three times, Spinel buried her nose in her diamond’s neck, unable to help the smile on her face as Pink’s arms completely enveloped her in the hug she had been longing for. Encased in Pink’s warmth, in Pink’s scent, in Pink’s presence – this was everything Spinel secretly wanted. Just them. No interference or diamond obligations that would tear Pink away from her. She got her diamond all to herself today. Pink could feel the little gem deflate in her arms, a happy sigh whispering against her collarbone as Spinel snuggled closer.

They stayed like that for minutes – Pink unmoving, holding her little doll as much as she wanted to be held. Spinel had never been one to sit still for very long. It was nice, Pink realized, just getting to enjoy each other in the quiet privacy of this place. She waited for Spinel to unwind herself, but she never did. Five minutes became ten, ten became thirty. Spinel had eventually unwound her arms from Pink’s middle and allowed her hand to rest more comfortably against her side, her head tucked securely under Pink’s chin. Pink remained determined to not move until Spinel was satisfied, but the silence made Pink wonder. Did her normally energetic, playful gem really find more joy from her affection than a game or activity? She would think that Spinel would have been bored by now. The little thing hadn’t moved an inch, though, and Pink’s arms remained resolutely wrapped around her friend’s for nearly an hour. When Spinel finally spoke, Pink was nodding off.

“I’m so happy, Pink. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I’m happy, too,”Pink remembered to remind her.

“I could stay here forever. I love you _so_ much,” Spinel said softly, squeezing her friend’s torso a little tighter. Pink leaned down to kiss her hair. The gesture made Spinel smile.

“I know you do.” Too well, did Pink know. Spinel would always be happy with anything Pink wanted to do just by virtue of it being Pink's idea. If today taught her anything, it was that even the gems who called themselves her best friends weren’t comfortable voicing their deepest wishes to her without her assurance. The thought was discomforting and…sad. It reminded Pink that even her closest relationships did not meet her as an equal – whether it be her subjects below her or the diamond authority above her. If Pink had been unaffectionate or neglectful in the past, she was glad for the opportunity to make up for her mistakes and give Spinel whatever she needed from her today.

“What else would make my little Spins happy?”Pink whispered against rosy-pink hair, tearing her thoughts away from the uneasiness settling over her.

“Mmm. I’m so happy already. How could I want anything more than this?” Pink lifted a hand to gently hold the back of her round head, gingerly tucking a piece of loose hair back in place.

“I didn’t know you liked my hugs so much,”she said honestly.

“Silly, I’ve told you I love your hugs and kisses lots of times.”

“Oh? I must not have been listening very well then,”Pink answered, giving Spinel’s hair another kiss and her torso another squeeze for good measure.

“You stopped giving me them for a while.” Pink frowned, but with Spinel’s head still tucked safely underneath Pink’s chin, luckily it went unseen.

“I thought for a while something was wrong, but…you must love me a lot to be so sweet to me for a whole day, right?” She asked it like a question, a hint of unsurety behind her voice, as if she was genuinely unsure of the answer. Pink’s hesitation didn’t help.

“…Of course, Spinel. You deserve the world.” The serious tone the conversation had veered was unsettling, so unlike their usual playful banter.

“I’m happy with this,”Spinel said, reaching her arms up higher around Pink’s shoulders and pecking her friend on the cheek.

“I should be the one giving you kisses today, silly,”Pink replied teasingly, hoping to diffuse some of the seriousness, “Here.” She punctuated this with a bracing squeeze of her small body, followed by trapping Spinel in her arms and blowing _hard_ against her face, earning a sudden peel of laughter as Spinel squirmed in Pink’s hold from the tickling sensation. Spinel was quick to retaliate, stretching her head left and right as Pink wriggled away from her with breathless laughter. Pink stood no chance against Spinel’s flexibility, and soon after a playful tumble they were both on the floor again, Pink howling as Spinel blew the hardest raspberry she could muster against her side. They both looked up at each other and burst out laughing once more, unable to hold themselves up.

“I’m sorry I interrupted your hug.”

“Hee hee, that’s okay, tickle fights are worth it! Hey Pink?” She flipped around so she was lying on her belly, her head in her hands.

“…Can I have a real kiss?”Spinel asked shyly, still unused to the idea of asking for something so bluntly, “Not tickles this time.” Pink sat up, Spinel following, the smile she had promised her friend still there. 

Pink leaned in to gently kiss her friend’s cheek, earning her a pleased blush. It was a gesture not unfamiliar between them, albeit almost always one-sided. Spinel looked elated to be on the receiving end for once. Her already present blush deepened, hesitating to voice her next question.

“Could I…maybe have one here, too?”she asked shyly, placing a gloved finger against her lips, “If you’re okay with that. I’ve never been kissed there, and I’ve always wanted to try it.” Pink just smiled down at her little doll, amused at her innocence. Of course Spinel had never been kissed. Even at 1,000 years old, she was still so young. Spinel’s eagerness was betrayed with an excited squeak when Pink nodded her consent.

Spinel could hardly contain herself in her excitement, eagerly leaning in as Pink closed the gap, allowing their lips to gently touch in brief contact. The kiss lasted barely a second and felt no different than any of her cheek kisses, except for the warmth and the faint smack sound that their lips made when they parted. Still though, Spinel looked up at Pink with hearts in her eyes, a wide grin splitting her face.

“Hee hee! My first kiss with my best friend!”she squealed happily, clapping her hands together. Pink laughed, amused by Spinel’s excitement.

“You’re adorable, Spinel. You should see your face right now.” Spinel held her cheeks in her hands, beaming from heart-bun to heart-bun.

“I feel so giddy! And a little naughty, hee hee! Oh golly, what would the other diamonds think? Did you feel like this with your first kiss, Pink?”

“Naughty, yes. My first kiss definitely wasn’t of the innocent little lip-peck variety. I was checking over my shoulder every second for a _week_ afterward to make sure Blue or Yellow weren’t standing behind me…”

“Really? You mean there’s different kind of kissing?” Pink turned around too, resting her head on her arms.

“Oh, yes. Kissing can be an entirely different experience when you use more of your mouth. And with a willing and open-minded gem, you can get better at it with practice.” Spinel’s eyes widened.

“Wowie Pink, you know so much!”

“Well, more than Blue and Yellow think I know, that’s for sure,”Pink said with a roll of her eyes.

“Do you have any pointers?” Pink snorted at this.

“It’s hardly useful information, Spinel. I hardly see you as the type to tempt the guards into secret make-out sessions.”

“I might!”Spinel giggled, “Sounds kind of fun, now that you mention it. Like a secret game!”

“You’ve made some surprising requests so far today."

“I’m full of surprises!” Pink laughed.

“Alright, but only because you’re my favorite,”Pink said with a wink, much to Spinel’s delight, “Well, usually kisses are quick and cute, right? It’s very different if you think of it more as exploring your partner. A deeper kiss is less about showing affection than it is about sensuality.”

“That does sound different!”

“It can feel really nice. Or it can be messy.”

“Like a surprise!”she exclaimed, clapping her hands, “Can we try it?”Spinel asked bluntly. Pink blinked, slightly stunned by the request that for a moment, she forgot her smile she promised.

“…It’s not really something that _friends_ do…” Her little doll’s innocent smile dropped at her response.

“Oh.” Spinel tried to hide the disappointment in her voice, quickly back-pedaling when she realized her error. “I-I know that…” A beat of awkward silence. “Sorry, I just got on a roll, asking for anything that came to mind, it just came out.”

“I’m not mad at you for asking, it’s just – I’ve never done it with anyone I’ve actually _known_. Wouldn’t that be a little weird for us? I mean, you don’t love me like that, right?” Spinel tilted her head to the side with a perplexed expression, her heart buns bobbing with her head movement.

“What do you mean? I love you in _every_ way!”she exclaimed, stretching her arms out wide for emphasis. Pink forced a weak smile to hide the guilt twisting in her middle. If the last thousand years had shown her anything, it was that Spinel meant it. How treasured Pink was, for Spinel to put aside her own wants, day after day for hundreds of years, as if it was the easiest, most natural thing in the world. Pink almost felt jealous – having never known that kind of effortlessness in loving her fellow diamonds. She hadn’t even thought to give her supposed best friend a day to herself in 1,000 years until today. She felt ashamed at her own discomfort when Spinel was so uninhibited with her affection. Spinel did everything she wanted every day and Pink couldn’t even entertain the thought of showing her one harmless kiss on her anniversary without recoiling in disgust. 

Spinel’s smile fell, Pink’s silence and failure to reassure Spinel that she felt the same way weighing precariously between them. Quickly she masked any rejection and hurt with a forgiving smile for Pink’s benefit that didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Just forget about it! It’s not like I actually _want_ to, anyway. I didn't even mean it. Silly Spinel…”

The hurt in her eyes was as clear as day, even as she offered her diamond a weak smile. Pink sighed. Spinel was the closest thing she had ever had to a real friend. Pink remembered when Spinel was new, and all of Pink’s energy was wholly invested with meeting every expectation imposed on her by the other diamonds. Pink was better at keeping secrets now, and she had learned a few new ways to blow off steam, but nonetheless – taking a break to play with Spinel had always been the highlight of her day. Pink _wanted_ to love Spinel for more than just the reprieve from her diamond duties she provided. She wanted to give her friend the love she deserved for all she did to keep Pink smiling. She wanted to feel something for this gem who had never asked for anything from her until today when she had been given permission to. If only she could make herself love her like Spinel did…

Perhaps she could.

With a resigned sigh, slowly she tilted Spinel’s head up with the end of her finger.

“You don’t need to lie to make me happy. Not today. I promised I would give you anything you asked for, didn’t I?”

“You don’t look happy. I don’t want to do anything today that you don’t want to do.” Of course Spinel would backpedal at the moment Pink forgot her end of her promise.

“You just surprised me, is all. I’d never thought about doing something like that with you before. But I promised I’d be happy and smile for you no matter what today, didn’t I?”she asked, training her smile back in place, hoping the show would fool her little friend. Spinel still looked hesitant.

“You’re just being nice,”she countered softly, her small fingers coming up to touch the hand holding her chin, “You’re always so nice.”

“I’m sure I’ve asked you to do things you’re uncomfortable with. It’s okay if it’s just today. I told you there’s nothing I’m not willing to give you, and I meant it.”

“You promise you’ll still be happy? You’re not mad?”

“I meant what I said, Spinel. I’ll be happy with _anything_ you want.” Spinel looked up at Pink, a moment of hesitation hanging between them. There was something more than curiosity in Spinel’s eyes, a deep yearning to know her diamond’s secrets and uncover the knowledge that was exclusive to only certain willing gems. Something within her ached at the thought that other gems had experienced a part of Pink that Spinel hadn’t – that she played other games with other gems that Pink had never thought to play with her. Jealousy, green and unpleasant, gave Spinel the courage to request the one thing Pink had never given her.

“Then…I want you to kiss me, please.” For a moment, neither dared breathe. Pink held her breath, cautiously considering those words coming out of Spinel’s mouth. Then, when nothing happened and Spinel remained resolutely waiting, gloved fingers came up to cup Spinel’s chin.

“This stays between us, okay? It doesn’t mean anything. I’m just demonstrating.” She said it more for herself than for Spinel. Spinel only nodded in response, staring up at Pink with large, waiting eyes - so pretty and delicate. Pink never allowed herself to really look at her before, but she was lovely. All gentle curves and soft, round edges. A beautiful, pristine doll, made just for Pink. If Pink thought about it, it was like playing make-believe with a toy. All she had to do was pretend.

She steeled herself, closing her eyes for a moment to mentally brace herself against any lingering uneasiness with kissing her best friend. There was hesitation and unsurety in Pink’s eyes when she opened them, but she pushed through it and leaned her head down to press her lips against Spinel’s. This was for her. Pink loved her. She wanted to love her. _Please, help me love her._

Spinel met the kiss with a surprised squeak, unsure what to do with the firmer contact. Spinel’s mouth was small against Pink’s, full lips nearly swallowing Spinel’s. Innocent thing that she was, Spinel kept her mouth closed and her lips puckered and stationary, clueless as to what to do with them. Pink leaned back just enough to whisper to her.

“Open your mouth, Spinel.” A beat of unsurety, and then to her surprise Spinel dropped her jaw and opened her mouth in a perfect ‘O’. The absurdity of her behavior made Pink pause before she burst out laughing. Spinel kept her mouth open, looking genuinely confused as to why her diamond was laughing at her for following her order.

“Like _this_ ,”Pink clarified with a mirthful smile, tipping her jaw closed with the end of a gloved finger, just enough that Spinel’s lips were lightly parted. Spinel looked up at Pink expectantly, waiting for further instruction. With one hand on her chin to guide her, Pink brought their lips together again, and was this time granted easier access to the cotton candy sweetness of Spinel’s mouth. She took it slow – more for her sake than for Spinel’s - sliding her lips gently over her friend’s. Spinel entire form tingled pleasantly as her diamond lovingly caressed her lips. Springy arms encircled around Pink’s torso of their own accord, chasing her proximity with a fervor Spinel hadn’t felt before. She felt so close to Pink in this moment, it just felt right to hug her while doing this. This wasn’t like their last kiss. This wasn’t cute and playful. This felt tender, and loving, and intimate. It was everything Spinel never knew she wanted from Pink. It was connection, exhilaration – it was _new._

“I’m going to put my tongue in your mouth now,”Pink whispered, her voice nearly swallowed in the kiss Spinel was now practically begging for, “It might feel strange at first. Just copy what I do.”

Another slide of Pink’s larger bottom lip between Spinel’s pushed an opening for Pink’s tongue to probe, and Spinel responded to the intrusion with a surprised noise that sounded suspiciously like a moan. Her mouth tasted like candy, and Pink couldn’t help her curiosity of the taste, tracing the shape of Spinel’s mouth with her tongue. Spinel felt overwhelmed at first by the sensations. For a moment she simply surrendered to the euphoria of Pink Diamond filling her – her Diamond, her everything - lost in the dizzying pleasure of the person she loved most in the world lovingly ravage her mouth as if Spinel was the most delicious thing she had ever tasted. Ever the fast learner, though, Spinel quickly figured out how to reciprocate, tentatively meeting Pink’s tongue with her own and a small accompanying noise. Her fingers had coiled in her friend’s mess of hair, anchoring her there as she wrestled her friend in a way she had never before. Although Spinel had no point of reference to compare, Pink was, unsurprisingly, an _excellent_ kisser - knowing just when to pull, suck, or use her tongue to make Spinel’s entire form shiver in bliss. And though Pink would never dare admit it after the fact, but Spinel’s flexibility completely compensated for her smaller size, her tongue twisting and bending every way that Pink guided it, contorting in oddly satisfied ways. Pink tried to lose herself in the sensations, pouring all the emotion she willed to feel for herself, but finding it difficult to calm the little alarm bells going off in the back of her mind as she took note of how horrifyingly _empty_ she felt forcing such artificial passion on her friend.

Spinel didn’t want it to end. She had never felt so close to Pink, sharing something so intimate - Pink’s arms cradling her and making her feel oh so loved and safe, her lips drawing out soft noises of contentment. She didn’t think about why Pink wasn't making those same noises, why she didn't pull her close the way Spinel was. Her head spun with the new and dizzying sensations Pink was responsible for, making it hard to rationalize why she shouldn't milk Pink’s willingness for all she could tolerate. It felt too good, too new, to stop now.

And yet it had to stop eventually. It was Pink who guiltily decided she couldn’t continue any longer, letting their lips separate with a disturbingly wet sound and quickly masking any tension remaining in her face before she pulled back. 

“Golly. Oh, Pink…,”Spinel sighed happily, steadying the dizziness she felt by leaning her forehead against Pink’s, “I didn’t know kisses could be like that.” Pink closed her eyes against the gesture, almost afraid to open them again for fear of seeing the satisfied afterglow in her friend’s eyes. Spinel’s arms remained tightly wound around her, securing a promise that if Pink opened her eyes, she would see a wanting gem still desperately yearning for her contact and affection - and quite possibly another kiss she didn’t know if she could stomach through a second time. 

“Thank you,”she heard Spinel say instead, the hands that had been previously tangled in her hair slowly coming down to rest at her shoulders, fingers curling around the nape of her neck, anchoring her there. Slowly Pink opened her eyes to peek down at the smaller gem. Spinel was indeed glowing, lips rosy from their excursion and pulled wide in a toothless smile. Pink frowned at the tears suspended at the edge of Spinel’s lashes.

“Spins, what’s wrong?” Spinel just shook her head.

“I’m just so happy…. That was so wonderful, Pink. It really was different like you said. It felt like…like Starfall meteor shower, but inside me! I know that was a lot to ask, but…thank you. Thank you thank you _thank you.”_ Pink opened her mouth to assure her friend that she was welcome, that she was happy to do it. But then she closed it.

“…We… probably shouldn’t do that again,”was all she said instead. For a moment all Spinel could do was let her disappointment hang between them in the accompanying silence. Then Spinel masked it with a small smile, sad and understanding.

“I know. Just for today, right? Because I get to ask for anything?” Pink nodded, lifting one of Spinel’s hands to her lips, pressing a consolatory kiss against her gloved knuckles.

“Yes. Just for today.”

“I understand,”she answered quietly with compliant resignation, “….You’re not going to order me to forget it, though, right? I’m so happy - I wanna remember this feeling forever and ever. Please, Pink?” Honestly Pink had considered it. But one look at the earnestness in Spinel’s eyes, and she just sighed.

“Let’s just…not talk about it, okay? To anyone….” Spinel lit up with relief, nodding.

“Roger! My lips are sealed!”Spinel said with a small reassuring smile for her friend’s benefit, “Anything for you, Pink. Always.” The smile Pink had promised her stiffened; the corners of her mouth cemented in place by sheer force of will. Dopey eyes looked up as if to remind Pink that Spinel would always be loving her on a level that made Pink feel not enough, inadequate – a fake. She knew the feeling intimately, because she felt it every day with the diamonds. Spinel would never say it, but looking at her, Pink felt as unfit to rule a colony as she did to be a decent friend. It was an uncomfortable reality to face, and it made Pink feel awful – a bad friend, a bad diamond, a bad ruler. Never enough for the people she loved. 

“Pink…? Did I make you unhappy?” Pink took pause at the genuine worry on Spinel’s face. Made here in this place only for Pink’s happiness and comfort, the truth would destroy her. Instead Pink cupped a hand to Spinel's cheek and noted with newfound attention how Spinel immediately leaned into the gesture, savoring her diamond's touch.

“I was just thinking I’m sorry I can’t give you what you really want,”Pink said honestly. Her love, real and genuine – that’s what Spinel wanted. The fact that the only thing Spinel had asked for today was for Pink to show her the affection she never received spoke to the apathy underlying their relationship. She had used her day to gift herself ghosts of authentic affection. _She deserves a friend who can give her what she wants every day, not just once a millenia,_ Pink thought sadly.

“I already have what I really want if I have you,”Spinel said sweetly, hands coming up to gently touch Pink’s, her thumbs finding a home in the crevice of Pink’s gloved hands.

“Oh come here, you,”Pink said, shifting Spinel further up her lap and beckoning Spinel for another hug. The smaller gem beamed at the opportunity, her arms remaining around Pink’s neck but tightening their contact. Pink's arms came dutifully around her back to reciprocate the hug. This was easier. At least this way, Spinel didn’t have to see the doubt play on her diamond’s face.

Pink squeezed her little doll to her tightly, pressing her nose against strawberry-soft hair, just as sweet-smelling as the day she emerged. It reminded Pink of a younger her, when her responsibilities felt newer and more challenging, and she needed a hug from her friend to get her through the day. The thought made her squeeze all the more tighter to her as a pang of longing and nostalgia seized her.

“I love you, Spinel.” She spoke the sweetest lie – the best gift she could think to give her friend for all of the memories they had shared and all the smiles that had gotten her through so many arguments and hard days with the diamonds. It wasn’t a lie, she reasoned. She wouldn’t have done any of this if it was a lie.

“I love you, too, Pink,”Spinel echoed almost immediately. “We’ll be best friends forever, right? Not just the next thousand years, but…six thousand! Or even longer!” Pink didn’t miss the tone of hope and desperation in her voice, and Pink’s gem sunk with the implication of Spinel’s deeper feelings for her that she didn’t know how to acknowledge. Spinel, pushing for contact, and Pink, pulling away, two magnets that had once attracted each other beginning to shift their polarity. Spinel didn’t know it yet, but Pink could feel something within them moving – different feelings than the ones she felt a thousand years ago shifting the dynamics of their relationship. It was new, and unexpected, and daunting.

Pink squeezed Spinel tighter, willing herself to hang on to any piece of closeness she still felt for as long as she could. She’d keep playing pretend for just a little longer if it meant getting to hang on to the memory of a happier, more synchronized pair of young friends with starry eyes ready to take on the universe. She and Spinel were good at playing pretend. She hoped they would get to play just a little bit longer before the game was over.

“For as long as we’re able, Spins.”


End file.
